Mood swings? So fucking what.
I have up and down moments when it comes to writing, producing, and selling books. Usually these three parts of bringing a book to life are connected. Sure, you can write a book and don’t sell it. Or sell a book that isn’t yours. Or just print books and don’t give a damn about writing or selling. I do it all. Ain’t I the lucky one.
There are days that I feel very proud of myself. I sold thousands of books. When I get a feedback, there’s a 95-percent chance that it’s gonna be positive. I mostly like what I write. I’m thrilled to be a writer and a publisher. I believe in myself and in the things I do.
Then come the ‘dark days’. Sometimes I don’t sell a single copy for two weeks. Maybe more. Or I don’t feel like writing. Or everything I write seems like a total waste of brain cells. Maybe I get a one-star review on Goodreads. Maybe nobody gave me a virtual heart on my brilliant post on Twitter. Or there are not enough likes on Facebook. I just feel abandoned, even if I’m surrounded by people who love me.
I know what you’re thinking. So fucking what. I’m not special. Everyone has mood swings. You’re right. But they fuck up my creative process. They mess with my ability to promote my books. They are the reason why I don’t sell as much as I’d like to. I know what you’re thinking now. Maybe I’m a shitty writer or a bad salesman. First of all, I can write. Second … OK, maybe I’m not a very good salesman. But I strongly believe in the power of quality writing. It will take me places, I just need to pull my shit together and do something about these damn ups and downs.
As usual, I have no idea what the point of this post is. I hope you found something useful in it. I just needed to write down a few lines and throw them into the infinite void of internet. It’s therapeutic. Thank you for your patience. I’ll do better next time.